The New Year’s Bitchslap.

As we go into the New Year, we often go armed with resolutions, to-do lists, intentions, vision boards, burned things we’d like to leave behind, memories and hangovers. Then we wake up.

My 8-year old son had a good friend sleep over last night.

James woke up with a huge smile saying, “Mom, it’s the first day of 2014!!”
I said, “Awesome guys, how do you feel!?!”
His friend answered, “Exactly, the same.”

Kids always seem to get it right. They seem to cut through the crap, the lists, the future and the past and say what none of us want to say out loud.

Eventually, we will encounter the moments when the magic of our lists and graphics, our mastermind groups and restorative vacations will lose their mojo and we will be hanging in a moment of fear and doubt.

We will hit the wall. Some of us will hit that wall today. Some of us will wake up and say, “Shit, I am exactly the same Maria I was yesterday.”

So what will really make 2014 the best year ever?
It is the shift that is imperceptible to the naked eye on Day 1, 2014.
It is a profound acceptance that when we wake up, we are already the people we are born to be for today.
It is the awakening of that love in us that begins a moment-to-moment practice from within that has the possibility to change our lives.

Last night, I spent a beautiful day among friends, and loved ones, and my children.
New Year’s Eve, as the minutes, counted down, I found myself alone.
My husband had a night of needing to be two places at once for work, so he wasn’t home.
My house was still. My children were all asleep. The dishes from the fabulous meal were done. Friends had gone home.
I was alone. And honestly, I felt the loneliest I’ve felt in a long time.

Fireworks went off outside my bedroom window.
The moment hit me hard.
I wasn’t going to be kissed this New Year’s.
I wasn’t going to have some one hold me tight and tell me they loved me at midnight.
As the world celebrated, I was silent.
I felt the pissyness and the woe is me on New Year’s begin to set in.

Then, I looked over at my daughter – her mile long eyelashes and her breath rising and falling in her chest as she slept.

Time slowed down for me. Gratitude washed over me.

I was given the exact gift New Year’s was supposed to teach me.

To be without armor. To be with my greatest fear. To be alone.

In that moment, I realized this:
I am only ever alone by my choosing.
I am only insignificant by my choosing.
No one is waiting to make the magic happen for me. Not even the people that love me the most. Because they are supposed to be here to make their own magic, not mine.

God packaged you with every ounce of gifts you need to be YOU. We just forget to Choose Ourselves. We forget to be Loving in each breath so that becomes the air we breathe back in return. This is how the holy grail, abundant LOVE, becomes your experience in this life.

In the first minute of January 1, 2014, I realized how to make the magic happen.

At midnight, I chose me. I chose in my heart to be loving.

To me first.
Then to my husband.

I chose to honor what I love doing.
I chose to let go of the rest.

And then to simply keep on going…no matter what.

When we do that, God and the Universe or whatever you want to call that Greatness that surrounds you and me will have our backs.

Happy New Year my friends. I can’t say it better than Eckhart:

“You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are.” – Eckhart Tolle

 

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